I have learned to recognize my ego “voice” that pops up in my life. It is an immediate, almost involuntary message in my head that competes and compares, and sees people in terms of hierarchy. My ego believes in looking right most of all, and it is sneakily reassuring. Having awareness of this voice has been a revelation in my life.
The ego creates a self that feels completely separate from others. It forgets the unity that we come from. The ego takes individuality to a destructive level, igniting arguments and defensiveness. It suffers from a lack of compassion, and I shudder at what we often do for it – how we sweep people aside to feel momentarily superior. The key word is momentarily, because the ego lives in a tent that collapses. It needs to be propped up with most of our precious energy. It will never shelter us from the storms of life.
Spiritual teacher Christine Day writes: “the ego mind is incredibly limited; it is motivated to keep you in survival mode. When you are in survival mode, the full motivation connected to decision-making is through fear, lack and struggle, and these motivations are entirely connected into the illusion of third dimensional reality.” This cycle keeps one “constantly limited in your ability to create.” It doesn’t help that society’s controlling systems support the ego. But Day tells us that we can reconnect with our powerful hearts, and they can guide us out of the mire. Our hearts can help us build the lives we long for.
Longing is separation. It is feeling perpetually unsatisfied because we have forgotten our true selves. So often, we rely on the ego to make ourselves feel better, but it never will. You see, it can’t provide you with self-love.
You ego will always feel a need to prove that you are worthy, but you deserve to be loved just the way you are, and your soul knows this. Your ego will prompt you to run a grueling race, and as soon as you cross the finish line, it will ask you how you’re going to prove yourself tomorrow. It will never satisfy you.
Your ego loves to spin “stories” from the past that distract you and keep you working on its behalf. It wants you to be who you are not and to “win,” but there is nothing to win anyway. What you gain has no lasting value, just a fleeting fight to feel superior. I think this is where violence begins. I have noticed that my ego wants things that I don’t and is unaware of the choices my soul has made. I used to define my ego as my desire to be special, but now I see that we are all already special.
The task is to recognize the ego’s cry for love and then to act with love. When the ego feels weak, it lashes out to defend all that it identifies with. When a peer tells us about a personal accomplishment, the ego reacts with jealousy. It feels that another has something we don’t. In both of these situations, we simply need to be more loving to ourselves and to others.
I want to see a world where we cheer each other on through life’s deeper issues instead of competing at the surface; where we are aware of the ego’s thirst for personal gain that never fulfills and choose instead to reach spiritually higher.
Up until now, the ego has served its purpose. It has protected humanity through the survival mode of the past, but now it is time to take back control. We can thank the ego for helping us to function in the world, but now we get to be in charge.
Now, we are evolving beyond the ego. We are blossoming into authentic spiritual power. The truth is that we are so much more magnificent than we often think – than all we have built our lives around. Each of us is beautifully, divinely unique, and there is nothing to compare, ever.
I think most of us do this to see if we are “normal” – if we fit in and are on the “right” track, but when we compare anything, we make it less special than it is. And, if we simply follow the inner guidance of our soul and pay attention to how we feel, we will be steered perfectly through life. If we operate from our hearts and our souls, we will create our highest dreams.
You are a glowing universe unto yourself, limitless and eternal, and at the same time you are one with everything. Without the ego in charge, joy reveals itself to be right here at your fingertips. You find what you have been missing – unconditional love and presence. You remember who you really are, and you are free.
The ego that usually makes the most noise is that little selfish ego. The EGO that keeps our bodies alive is the quiet ego. It is very difficult to only listen to the small quiet voice of our large ego.
This is really helpful, James. Thank you!