Last year, I read about an inspiring Native American “Give Away Ceremony.” In the ceremony, the participants permanently give up a cherished belonging, and subsequently, experience tremendous growth.
Spiritual teacher Drunvalo Melchizedek describes the purpose of releasing something we feel we can’t live without: “because we place so much value on our possessions, and because our emotional body is also often connected to these possessions, profound healings can occur.” The participants in the book each give a sentimental keepsake away and feel deeply changed by what is accomplished. It is a simple exercise that becomes transformational.
While reading this, I thought of my most prized belonging. It is a gold ring that my parents gave me for Christmas at 14. The ring is a simple vintage wedding band, and I’ve worn it for 27 years. Over the years, it has become a kind of symbol to always be true to myself.
This ring bridges my past with my future. Along the way, it has become a token of parental love, self-respect, and consistency. Such is the emotional attachment I have given to this object. And I have felt that I could never, ever part with it.
Well, six months ago in a bout of pre-travel frenzy, I accidentally threw the ring out. Now of course, I didn’t purposefully give my possession away in a beautiful ceremony. I mistakenly sent it to the garbage dump. But I did have to let it go. Consequently, I experienced some invaluable growth.
Material things can largely be replaced, but the emotions that we attach to them are very hard to say goodbye to. At first, I mourned the loss of my little belonging – I’d been through a lot while wearing this ring, but in some ways it held me captive there. My emotions quickly turned into release, and I began to feel a break from the past – from old patterns and expectations, from self-evaluations and limits, and all I’d long associated with it. I began to mentally detach from other objects too – my home, my possessions, and so many things that I used to hold on to very tightly that made me feel safe. All this from a little piece of jewelry.
I became grateful for the unfolding lesson and felt motivated to reinvent myself beyond prior definitions. I realized that I don’t need anything, and especially not a ring so that I can be true to myself.
Our possessions limit us, and losing them can be liberating. The energy once focused on the material becomes available for higher purpose.
Buddhist teacher Pema Chodron teaches that life is constant change and there’s nothing we can cling to for long. We hold onto our things because they offer a sense of permanency. Of course, this goes way beyond the material. We cling to people, experiences, emotions and places. We want something and we try to keep it for our own, but this creates imbalance. Attachment takes us outside of self fulfillment and we become dependent upon things that can never provide what we seek. When we detach, we free ourselves from the cage we have made.
And yet, how do we love something on earth without wanting a part of it for ourselves? I can’t imagine a full experience of life without attachment. I think it is the wanting and releasing that teach us so much. We literally rise above the past and all of our experiences, and we are stronger.
I feel such overwhelming gratitude for my loved ones and beloved pets who have taught me these lessons – who have shown me the spiritual in life through letting go. Love will always survive our desires.
The ring that carried such nostalgia has no meaning to me now. But, what does remain and shine out exponentially is the incredible love for my parents and the self-respect that was symbolized. Love will always transcend our attachments.
Share the Spiritual 
What an interesting topic you chose to write about. I cannot seem to get past the loss of a necklace on St. John Island in May 2004. I realize it is not the loss of the necklace but the loss of my brother that it represents. I would think with common sense and logic that I could recognize that and let it go… awareness is curative, right? However, I am angry that I lost it. Now I wonder did it happen for the lesson and I have yet to figure out the lesson, or was it just a random loss? I will consider the emotion tied around it and see what evolves. Very interesting. You have given me something to think about. Thank you, beautiful Suzy.
Wow, Donna I can’t wait to see what clarity arises for you around the necklace and your brother. I love the way you describe that “awareness is curative,” and yet we still have emotions to live through. I’ll be thinking of you, my amazing friend.
To detach is not unlike release, to let go of some thing, some feeling some sense of security that one has grown comfortably attached to. Letting go, detaching, releasing are all difficult for we humans. We like to hold on to things both physical and emotional.
Detaching ourselves form whatever it is that we are holding on to gives us freedom to grow. To grow in the spiritual, to have a space to learn, to share, to love and to be loved.
the journey–
taking nothing
leaving nothing behind
Nicely put, James. I especially like how you say “freedom to grow.” The concept of detaching reminds me of your wise words “Stop wanting and have it all.”
I find this so true, and it is one of the fundamental ideas in my space coaching practice – where I often help people let go of their “stuff”. It is amazing the feeling of freedom and release that comes with cleaning out a closet or a room, and letting all those things that you “should” hand on to, go.
Things are physical manifestations of our thoughts and beliefs. By letting “things” go, you are also letting go of attachments to thoughts that have been holding you back. It is amazing how freeing it can be to have only the basic necessities, and how imprisoning it can be to have all the best gadgets.
I first learned this when watching a video about the eskimo (inuit). In their nomadic culture, the more things you have, the lower you are in the social scheme – how different than ours! But makes sense when you have to lug all that stuff around from place to place. So, when clearing out a space, I tell myself to “be an eskimo”. Because if they can survive on as little as possible, so can we.
Jillian Harrington – http://www.jillianharrington.com
What a wonderful practice Jillian! I love how you teach “By letting go of “things,” you are also letting go of attachments to thoughts that have been holding you back.” I will try, try to be an Inuit too. Thank you for sharing your wisdom here.
I awoke this morning and realized that letting go is not just the physical things or
our thoughts but the people that we have been holding on to. If we are to continue on our journey of life in this human world we will release the people that we have surrounded ourselves with. Some are there because they comfort us some are there because they have given support. Some are there out of an
old habit.
Letting go or detaching is a good thing. It gives us room to fill our lives with new energy, light and love.
What truth James! and what a challenge. I tend to see it as letting each other “go” so that we can be free.
I was just thinking about how I get so attached to my plans of how the day is “supposed” to go…and then my children “enlighten” me otherwise. Here’s to detaching from plans too!
I have a friend who is on a Shaman’s Path. He is a fan of Drunvalo Melchizedek and has some connections with other Shamans in the Americas as far South as Peru. He has spoken of being involved in “Giveaway” or “Sharing” ceremonies. He considers it to be very freeing, but cautions that it is not for everyone who has not given it serious thought. I found your blog via a Katinka Hesselink lens on Squidoo.