Share the Spiritual

This post is on the often overlooked importance of self-love. Of course, focusing on the self can appear selfish, but it is the key to spiritual growth.

You see, we originally come from the same incredibly loving place, where we are united as one blissful energy. Because of this inherent unity, when we value the self, we are valuing others. If we can be more accepting, compassionate and kind to ourselves, then we know how to be this way to each other.

Going through the self is the way to truth. Every issue we have is here. Self-awareness prevents unnecessary fears that blame other people for our problems. It also helps us to have a caring awareness of those around us. When we nurture ourselves, we see this healthiness reflected in our relationships.

Orin and Sanaya Roman write, “What is loving to the self is always loving to others. Transformation of the planet begins with transformation of the self.” If we start on the inside, we can change the world.

Here is an exercise by teacher Maureen St. Germain that fortifies the self. It generates more love from within.

1. Start by writing down the loving statements that you’ve heard people say about you in your life. Take a little time to remember and list them, starting with your closest family, then present and past friends.

2. Next, call your cell phone and record these words with great tenderness and feeling, beginning with “I love you.”

3. Listen to this voice message twice a day for 45 days, re-recording your message as you remember more and can add more feeling. I have found that you can also record a message purely in your own words to yourself, when self-compassion is evident, to listen to as needed.

I know that it sounds so narcissistic, but this exercise helps to create a solid foundation of love from which to live. It makes us centered and whole, and able to contribute our strongest gifts to the world – what every person deserves.

When I began this exercise, I immediately realized “I just have to love myself better. It has nothing to do with anybody else.” I felt my heart open. When we open our hearts to loving ourselves one hundred percent, we can support and forgive ourselves, which is at the root of all healing. And, when our hearts are opened, we can fully love others. It then becomes obvious that self-love is essential. When everyone sees how special they are, and we can throw our outdated egos out and live harmonious lives.

Another way to strengthen self-love is to create a positive, supportive inner dialogue, to replace the one that judges our unique qualities. We often reject ourselves for not measuring up to human definitions, but we need to accept ourselves exactly as we are, and to recognize the divine perfection that we embody. One way to help with this is to look with compassion at the baby picture we have of ourselves and our loved ones. To me, this illustrates that we are all on this challenging adventure that began with very brave hearts. I believe that we agreed to play roles for each other, in order to help each other to grow. I wish to express to each of you how special, beautiful and brave you are to be here.

*Check out Dr. Kristin Neff’s inspiring web site on self-compassion, http://www.self-compassion.org/