The theme of receiving has come up for me a lot lately. When I allow myself to fully receive from the loving people in my life, I feel whole, healthy and mature. But, what’s going wrong the rest of the time? I think the answer involves some self-imposed separation.
So often, I fear that I’m putting people through too much effort, and this makes me feel beholden. Sometimes, I feel embarrassed to be given to. I then accept a gift like flattery that never sinks in, and this devalues the giver too. And of course I immediately start thinking about how I can give something in return.
So what does healthy receiving look like? The key lies in healing that feeling of separation and unworthiness. This begins with healthy self esteem that is reflected back to us (something I’ll be delving into further next week.) The idea is to have a strong sense of self that is not selfish – that is aware of the needs of others as well as our own, and that feels worthy. This means valuing every person, showing respect for all, and honoring the freedom we each deserve.
Compassion is the key ingredient to this recipe. Compassion values the self and all people unconditionally. It shows us how to forgive. Compassion appreciates how unique and essential we each are, without the need to judge or compare. There is no need for ego-based hierarchy. But at the same time, compassion quietly champions something far greater than the self. It remembers our original unity.
This is a principle of the heart, and healthy receiving is a heart based exchange. We often stop the natural flow of giving and receiving by closing our hearts. Although we may feel vulnerable, opening ourselves to receive is one of the greatest gifts that we can give another person. And, as author Cheryl Richardson writes, “When we open ourselves up to others, we open ourselves up to the abundance of the universe.”
I’d like to accept more of the kind offers I’m given and engage in the beautiful exchanges of life, rather than shying away from them. I want to embrace the love behind each precious gift I get instead of deflecting it. I want to look into the eyes of each amazing person who is giving with love and thankfulness. Gratitude is such a powerful and beautiful frequency to reside in, I say enjoy all of the opportunities you can find to experience it. Being grateful also perpetuates abundance in our lives.
Of course, healthy receiving never judges a gift or feels entitled to take. These are behaviors of separation that stem from the ego. Just as with giving, receiving expects nothing in return. This means cherishing being given to, without condition.
I think another crucial element is being present. If we make ourselves available to the naturally unfolding gifts of life at any moment, then receiving and giving happen effortlessly, without any planning whatsoever. This is the continual and balanced exchange of energy that we are already an integral part of. I think this is why the best gifts are often spontaneous experiences that we share with each other.
Share the Spiritual 
Compassion … coupled with love and empathy, the 3 might just heal the universe. I love your beautiful insight. Thank you.
I’m fully receiving your beautiful comment :) Compassion, love and empathy – I love this.
Written from the heart, you can feel that. I completely relate to your words. I have heard a term from spirit guides that I love using again and again: self-first is not self-ish. I agree with you, there is a place where you can be compassionate and accepting and not selfish. Finding that wedge of space is another directional issue LOL but so worth the fun in finding.
Thank you for putting your soul out there each week.
Wow- I loved reading this! Thank you.
A couple thoughts…As imperfect as a community of faith can be, the coming together of people giving and receiving help both spiritual and physical gives me personally great joy and a sense of belonging as you describe here.
Another thought, this weekend, A friend invited me to the Opera, Porgy and Bess at the last minute and without hesitating or checking the to do list I went. The performance was amazingly moving, the experience even more special because it came as a spontaneous gift which I openly received. I also spent more time with my friend this way. They say busy people are happy because they have a sense of purpose. I suspect ‘they’ are not afraid to give and receive…
What amazing and inspiring comments that I’ll keep close to me all week. Your words of wisdom make Share-the-Spiritual what I dreamed it could be!
James’ ‘self-first’ comment is a great help to me; it touches on something which has been a great challenge to me as I seek my authentic self among the wreckage of [my] modern life – other egos, whom chose to remain in darkness, can oftentimes see you as selfish, almost narcissistic as you explore your inner-world and begin to refuse to buy into the same stuff as them; they sense the shift and feel it as a threat. We need this challenge so we can KNOW we are worthy of Love and look for answers within and not without – not to mention connect with the most potent power of all…FORGIVENESS.